Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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