A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
