You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
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He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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