what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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