can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
