I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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