Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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