Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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