I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I will be naked everywhere
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
