If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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