Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
bring money and cleavage
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
