You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize