I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
