I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
