...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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