an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
