shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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