honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sex in the backyard? Check.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
