Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize