alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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