I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize