I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
