8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
