Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
