Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
