I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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