So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
