i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
