I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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