I just made out with a guy for $7.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize