so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
