new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
