guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
