I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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