this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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