i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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