I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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