And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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