I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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