Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.

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  (732): used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick (732): i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore. http://tfl.nu/4czg
  Replies (59) Good night (750) Bad night (2401)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.

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  (314): I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window. http://tfl.nu/w8zt
  Replies (14) Good night (4573) Bad night (892)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.

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  (586): Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now. http://tfl.nu/hw0c
  Replies (41) Good night (6184) Bad night (1111)
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  (716): View more from New York

  he smelled like listerine and beef tacos

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  (716): he smelled like listerine and beef tacos http://tfl.nu/l079
  Replies (9) Good night (806) Bad night (4664)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon

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  (304): You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon http://tfl.nu/eqby
  Replies (5) Good night (5011) Bad night (1451)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...

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  (970): He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree... http://tfl.nu/exvr
  Replies (8) Good night (2425) Bad night (853)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick

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  (774): Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick http://tfl.nu/t99o
  Replies (6) Good night (2387) Bad night (878)
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  (760): View more from California

  They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure

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  (760): They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure http://tfl.nu/8s7w
  Replies (11) Good night (1371) Bad night (847)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.

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  (870): He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible. http://tfl.nu/mspa
  Replies (9) Good night (1440) Bad night (688)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...

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  (215): I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands... http://tfl.nu/sf3a
  Replies (4) Good night (1276) Bad night (453)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA

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  (413): They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA http://tfl.nu/xggi
  Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (589)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.

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  (415): I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy. http://tfl.nu/udyo
  Replies (6) Good night (1482) Bad night (883)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.

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  (785): His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less. http://tfl.nu/hesm
  Replies (4) Good night (1091) Bad night (429)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life

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  (787): The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life http://tfl.nu/y1id
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (549)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese

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  (775): He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese http://tfl.nu/ug4c
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (558)

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