My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.