I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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