she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
