True but thats because hes a fetus.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
