Having a random hookup so left but love u
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
