Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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