oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
