she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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