watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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