How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
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I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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