Can i not drive my cunt home
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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