I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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