He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize