Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
