So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
