Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Please don't give away my fajitas
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
