Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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