By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
