I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
