think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
