Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
