He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
